


Be Gay. Do Crime.

by SleepwalkingTimDrake



Series: Tim Drake Writing Sprints [2]
Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Red Robin (Comics)
Genre: (it's in the background), Be gay do crime guys, Comedy, Coming Out, Gen, Minor Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel, Or just be gay and become a vigilante, Pamela Isley is mentioned, Pre-New 52, Tim Drake is Red Robin, Tim Drake-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-22 17:55:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 410
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17667347
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleepwalkingTimDrake/pseuds/SleepwalkingTimDrake
Summary: This wasn't exactly how Tim imagined it, actually, scratch that he'd never imagined this.(Harley tries to convince the vigilantes of Gotham City that being gay and doing crime is the best way to go. Poor Tim was just happened to be nearby)





	Be Gay. Do Crime.

**Author's Note:**

> Here's another one shot from one of the Capes & Coffee writing sprints! And thank you so much to GoddessofRoyalty for beta-ing for me :)

The words that had been painted messily across the bat signal were running slightly.

 

**Be gay. Do Crime.**

 

"Is this a vocational intervention, Harley?"

 

Tim leaned slightly on his Bo staff as if to strike a conversation but underneath Red Robin's Kevlar he was tense. The suggestion of relaxation was all he could afford. Harley Quinn, even a Harley Quinn currently staying with Ivy, was just as dangerous and only questionably less insane.

 

"I'm afraid convincing the dynamic duo is a lost cause and Nightwing is depressingly straight." He gave her a small shrug.  _ What can you do about it? _ he tried to make his shoulders say. "But you might have better luck with Hood, ah.” 

 

Red Robin paused suddenly, cocking his head, and his features quirked into a smirk.  _ Always fun to tease,  _ he did his best to make his mouth speak silently.

 

”Although, he was crime lord for a bit. Been there done that."

  
  


Harley leers at Red Robin across the rooftop, her dye deaden hair was teased well beyond a bad throwback 80s look. Red Robin wanted to cringe, tonight her smudge lipstick and eyeliner made her look more like a deranged pervert you'd find at a creepy night club than just plan old deranged. It honestly made him want to double check he'd worn pants.

 

She leaned forward on her sloppy paint roller like she would her hammer. It was one of those extended ones you could use for tall walls, probably from Home depot, cheap. A drop of nausea-inducing green paint hit the floor with a splat. Tim was gonna take a wild guess and say Ivy didn’t pick the color.

 

With any luck it would break if she hit him with it.

 

_ Oh god _ , Tim's mind went down that rabbit hole with a vengeance usually reserved for the worst of reddit’s Batman conspiracy theories on three days of sleep debt.  

 

If she bothered with it, and it held up structurally, the roller would probably give him some killer bruises. At the very least it would be a pain to clean up. 

  
  
  


Something must have shown on his face because Harley let out a barking laugh. Not unlike the ones he'd heard from her "babies.”

 

"Woud ja’ look at that! The cat's out of the bag! Or at least someone’s out!" Harley crowed, still half giggling. "I gotchu good, bird-boy, didn't I? You didn't even  **think** to re-a-ssert your own hetro-ness~" 

 

Tim went red.

 

_ Fudge. _

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! I know it's kinda short but I'm planning on posting something longer after I've got a few more of these oneshots under my belt. Please leave me a comment on what you think or if you want me to try something specific! 
> 
> It really means a lot to me to know if people like what I'm putting out! 
> 
> Thanks for reading <3


End file.
